Self-Disclosure - Pregnancy
Being a mom changed my view on self-disclosure dramatically.
I was trained in the classic style of TV hyperbole: "You'd like to know if I am married. What would it mean if I were married?"
Once I was pregnant, that went out the window. Suddenly I was forced to talk about myself in a way I wasn't trained to. Because I didn't know what I was doing, or how to bring my own life into the room, I found that I talked about my pregnancy too late with clients and too shallowly. I let my own discomfort about talking about myself get in the way of discussing something that was clearly "in the room." Had I to go back and do it over, I'd do it differently.
Next week I'd like to explore a bit how to talk to clients about the pregnancy, and considerations on when to do it. This is the grit we talk about in my Pregnant Therapist group so come and join us!
It's not you, it's me
Why is it that when you feel the worst you aren't supposed to be talking about your pregnancy?
When I talk to moms who are therapists about their pregnancies, they tell me all kinds of first trimester therapy horror stories. This is why it's so important to me that you have a place to share that you are pregnant, and get a little help navigating the therapy world in this new body.
Here's one woman's story, just to give you a taste.
I was in my first trimester but I hadn't told any clients I was pregnant. I was starting to put on weight but not to the point anyone would pin it on pregnancy. My body, though, was sending me clear signals I was pregnant. I was throwing up throughout the day and often had to nap in between clients. I suddenly moved my bedtime up to 8pm and couldn't sleep through the night. So, it wasn't a huge surprise to me when I fell asleep during a session. Not snoring-through-my-nose asleep. Just, my-head-dipped-and-jerked asleep. I was horrified and embarrassed. I didn't want to bring it up in my supervision group because they didn't know I was pregnant yet, but I needed help figuring out how to address it with my client.
Hopefully our listserv and our groups will give you a place to confide with other women in similar situations that you are facing. You aren't alone! Join us to chat about how to navigate the tricky domain of the first trimester with clients.